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Why is it that backbiting and slander
is accepted by the public?
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…
And spy not, neither backbite one
another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You
would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allah. Verily, Allah is the
One Who forgives and accepts repentance, Most Merciful.
[49:12]
Slander, idle talk and
backbiting are far from a new phenomenon; as long as people have existed
this have occupied a big percentage of the communication.
In our era of time this
tendency of our communication has been used to the extreme. With the
gossip news the moral boundaries have been a luxurious affair without
limits, and any forms of shame and second thoughts, suspicions and lies
about people are broadcasted at a high level. It means that espionage
and conspiracy and irresponsibility is accepted and encouraged. It has
become an accepted form of entertainment which attracts a big part of
the population and that removes decency from the media and the public
debate.
People are brought up to
stare, suspect and ridicule ones fellow men; digging for others
mistakes, or to make them up - and spread them further. Arrogance and
irresponsibility corrode into the unconscious habits of people.
Why is it that this type of entertainment is accepted in a “civilized”
society? What does backbiting and gossiping say about the civilians? One
can wonder if anger, frustration, boredom and bad self-esteem are some
of the underlying causes for people who degrade others, amuse oneself at
their expense, so they can rise above someone. How is it, that people
can feel happy on behalf of someone’s misery? Let us hope that these
evil actions are not reflected upon: That they are “only” bad habits
inherited: If one’s parents constantly comment people, they will adopt
it. And that most of the people will stop being engaged in this
disgraceful part of our society while being aware of their habits.
And when
they hear vain talk, they withdraw from it and say:
“To us our deeds, and to you your
deeds. Peace be to you. We seed not the ignorant.”
[28:55]
Allah (swt) has forbidden you to backbite, listen to backbiting, and the
same with vain talk. Alhamdulillah (Praise be to Allah). Backbiting is a
nasty characteristic which destroy the fellowship and generally for
inter-human situations. If one is in company with someone who backbites,
one should try to stop them or leave. At least condemn their actions in
ones heart.
By backbiting are two sins: one against Allah by doing something haram,
and the other is for hurting a human which is the creation of Allah. If
you find yourself backbiting, then you should feel remorse and ask
Allah’s forgiveness. If your statement has reached the person concern,
one is obliged to meet him /her face to face and confess and ask for
forgiveness. If the statement has not reached one should tell positive
things about the person concerned, to remove the bad impression the
gossip could have left.
There are some cases where it is no longer backbiting if one is saying
anything negative about others: If you are absolutely sure that it is
facts and not speculations. The situations where it is acceptable, are:
1. When you want to correct
injustice which is committed by seeking help from someone who can
correct it.
2. When
you need to warn against dangerous persons to avoid others to fall into
their traps.
3. When you want to fight
bad traditions and habits; you can mention those persons who proudly
represent these, like the Nazis.
4. When you are seeking
answers and guidance from a scholar.
5. The use of nicknames if
it is wanted from the person himself and if one doesn’t have a bad
intention behind the use of them.
The Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) didn’t talk a lot. We should follow his
sunnah and generally speak less. When we want to tell something, we
should think about the motive. What do we want to achieve? Will it have
a positive effect for something? Is there a better way to tell this?
May Allah protect us
against our own tongues. May Allah help us to fight against gossip and
lies so that it doesn’t corrode the inter-human fellowship and
confidence. Amin.
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